Em-ERG-ency Legionnaire
My reading of Legion of Super-Heroes is limited at best, though I've decided I need to make an effort to pick up more Silver Age Adventure Comics A) to prevent Chris Sims from cornering the market on mockery of the Legion and B) because it's a good way to pander to The Legion Omnicon and Legion Abstract for links.
Going back to my original point, while my knowledge of the Legion's adventures is limited, I'm struck by the fact most of them seem to be treated as epic, life changing events by the Legionnaires. I suppose that's the way it should be when you fight with your life on the line, but other comics don't have the same attitude. The X-Men can be attacked by Juggernaut, Pyro, and Mr. Sinister in their own home (which will be mostly razed to the ground), learn one of their closest friends has been a traitor all along, have three of their teammates killed or knocked into a coma, and activate a dormant Sentinel, all within 21 pages, and they seem no more affected that you would be if a restaurant lost your reservation and told you it would be a 45 minute wait for a table. It's annoying, sure, but nothing out of the ordinary.
I get the impression if the Legion went to Safeway and found the bakery section was understocked on bagels, tears would be spilled and a statue would be built to commemorate the date.
On that note, "The One-Shot Hero" is a back up Legion of Super-Heroes story from Superboy #195, drawn by Dave Cockrum, who knows a little bit abuot the X-Men, and featuring ERG, a wannabe Legionnaire who boasts a myriad of powers ever since he was caught in the blast of an anti-matter rocket engine.
"I'm a heart surgeon's worst enemy!"
"Great, now can you summon a broom and clean that shit up?"
ERG, who is, thanks to his near-death experience, an Energy Release Generator, must wear that suit to contain the anti-matter energy that replaced everything about him that was ever human. The plus side is he can expand the energy to become huge like Colossal Boy or contract it to be as small as Shrinking Violet. He make himself intangible like Phantom Girl and fly without a flight ring.
One would think this amazing range of powers would make him a shoo-in to join the Legion, but unfortunately, they have a rule that Mon-El intends on enforcing based upon the letter of the law rather than the spirit.
"Wha... um... well, I can make myself really fat too! Is that good enou--aw, dammit... what's up, Bouncing Boy..."
In fact, ERG mentions that he does have a unique power, but that he can't display it for the Legion. Why wouldn't the featured character in a story called "The One-Shot Hero" want to display his unique power? Let's pretend we don't know and read on. Remember to act surprised when we get to the end.
The Legion is summoned by the Planetary Federation to deal with a giant, mob controlled dustbuster that's destroying all the crops on an agriculture planet as part of a scheme to shake down the Federation for money.
What? You thought I was kidding?
The Legionnaires attack the vacuum, but it is perfectly designed to counter all their powers. Chemical King's cobalt blasts can't dent the armor. A series of scramblers negate Phantom Girl's phasing. Colossal Boy... uh... well, Colossal Boy just gets run over. Fortunately, ERG is there with a bizarre sound effect to announce his arrival.
I'm not sure if that's Vaka-Boom or Yaka-Boom, but I'm not sure either can be duplicated by any force in nature. With Colossal Boy facing certain death, ERG calls upon his unique power, the power that would certainly have gotten him admitted to the Legion if only he'd revealed it to the Mon-El at the audition.
Unleash the Kzaaaaat!
The anti-energy blast destroys the massive Dirt Devil and the Legionnaires agree to admit ERG into their clique. Unfortunately, when they go to track him down, they learn that ERG's suit was like a balloon and ERG was like the air inside it.
This is the second Legion story I've reviewed and its the second that featured a monument built to honor a member who only joined them for one adventure.
Going back to my original point, while my knowledge of the Legion's adventures is limited, I'm struck by the fact most of them seem to be treated as epic, life changing events by the Legionnaires. I suppose that's the way it should be when you fight with your life on the line, but other comics don't have the same attitude. The X-Men can be attacked by Juggernaut, Pyro, and Mr. Sinister in their own home (which will be mostly razed to the ground), learn one of their closest friends has been a traitor all along, have three of their teammates killed or knocked into a coma, and activate a dormant Sentinel, all within 21 pages, and they seem no more affected that you would be if a restaurant lost your reservation and told you it would be a 45 minute wait for a table. It's annoying, sure, but nothing out of the ordinary.
I get the impression if the Legion went to Safeway and found the bakery section was understocked on bagels, tears would be spilled and a statue would be built to commemorate the date.
On that note, "The One-Shot Hero" is a back up Legion of Super-Heroes story from Superboy #195, drawn by Dave Cockrum, who knows a little bit abuot the X-Men, and featuring ERG, a wannabe Legionnaire who boasts a myriad of powers ever since he was caught in the blast of an anti-matter rocket engine.
"I'm a heart surgeon's worst enemy!""Great, now can you summon a broom and clean that shit up?"
ERG, who is, thanks to his near-death experience, an Energy Release Generator, must wear that suit to contain the anti-matter energy that replaced everything about him that was ever human. The plus side is he can expand the energy to become huge like Colossal Boy or contract it to be as small as Shrinking Violet. He make himself intangible like Phantom Girl and fly without a flight ring.
One would think this amazing range of powers would make him a shoo-in to join the Legion, but unfortunately, they have a rule that Mon-El intends on enforcing based upon the letter of the law rather than the spirit.
"Wha... um... well, I can make myself really fat too! Is that good enou--aw, dammit... what's up, Bouncing Boy..."In fact, ERG mentions that he does have a unique power, but that he can't display it for the Legion. Why wouldn't the featured character in a story called "The One-Shot Hero" want to display his unique power? Let's pretend we don't know and read on. Remember to act surprised when we get to the end.
The Legion is summoned by the Planetary Federation to deal with a giant, mob controlled dustbuster that's destroying all the crops on an agriculture planet as part of a scheme to shake down the Federation for money.
What? You thought I was kidding?The Legionnaires attack the vacuum, but it is perfectly designed to counter all their powers. Chemical King's cobalt blasts can't dent the armor. A series of scramblers negate Phantom Girl's phasing. Colossal Boy... uh... well, Colossal Boy just gets run over. Fortunately, ERG is there with a bizarre sound effect to announce his arrival.
I'm not sure if that's Vaka-Boom or Yaka-Boom, but I'm not sure either can be duplicated by any force in nature. With Colossal Boy facing certain death, ERG calls upon his unique power, the power that would certainly have gotten him admitted to the Legion if only he'd revealed it to the Mon-El at the audition.Unleash the Kzaaaaat!
The anti-energy blast destroys the massive Dirt Devil and the Legionnaires agree to admit ERG into their clique. Unfortunately, when they go to track him down, they learn that ERG's suit was like a balloon and ERG was like the air inside it.This is the second Legion story I've reviewed and its the second that featured a monument built to honor a member who only joined them for one adventure.
posted by Jake | 10/17/2006 12:44:00 AM
10 Comments:
Honestly that whole "unique super power" clause makes some of the legions lamer heroes make sense. Oh, and unless I'm missing something from that iteration, of the legion, how on Earth was Supergirl admitted what with her being pretty damn close to super boy (not sure if there was a difference at the time) unless Breasts we're a super power. (But, seriously , the fact that they turned down a guy who was mor powerful than any of them is pretty lame).
Socraticsilence
p.s. If anyones actually watching "Heroes" besides me (need something to do while I study) could they please explain to me how having a split personality disorder qualifies as a super power.
If memory serves me well, the let Supergirl in on account of the fact that she could crush their heads if they didn't.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that's not how it went down, but it would make a lot more sense, I am sure, than whatever did.
anonymous: The Legion left a loophole in the unique-powers rule that allows for unlimited duplication of Kryptonian-type superpowers. Therefore they could simultaneously have Superboy, Supergirl, Mon-El, and, stretching the point a little, Ultra Boy (although his powers were different enough to be considered unique--penetra-vision can see through lead!).
I don't think Niki's deal on Heroes is just a split personality. There really is something weird going on with the mirrors.
When he came back a few issues later, ERG-1 was known as Wildfire, of course, but he didn't have the nifty powers his first suit did. The later suits got shredded about every dozen or so issues but he always had spares back at the ranch. His unique power was that he could blast energy through his faceplate, fists, and feet. Or something like that.
I don't know if they ever got to build a statue for him before he showed back up. He must have been pissed to find nothing. I can see him going up to Phantom Girl: "I want this mother f'n statue in this mother f'n hall!"
They let Superboy and Supergirl in because they were time travelling heroes. Kal's power was that he had his own book, and Kara's power was that she attracted Brainiac 5. (Speaking of which, you must do the story in which Brainy creates a Supergirl sex robot. No, seriously, he does.)
The Legion really act like a bunch of spoiled brats who don't want any nerds in their "club". Wankers.
Well, you have to remember that the Legion is esentially a club full of super-powered 15 year-olds (many of whom are rich). Of course they're going to treat everything as if it's the most important thing in the world and have seemingly arbitrary rules of entry to their club/clique, that's what 15 year-olds do.
Psh, he's lucky they didn't banish him to a hell hole planet like they usually do with their rejects. They're like the dumping ground for all the superpowered bastards in the universe. Most of them were sent there from their own planet just so the worlds could be rid of them.
If I recall correctly, that ERG story may have been the first time that the unique power requirement was ever mentioned. In previous stories nobody ever cared about the duplication of Superboy/Supergirl/Mon-El (although Superboy did cite it as a reason for resigning from the Legion). Heck, nobody cared about Lightning Lad and Lightning Lass having the same power. Then again, why anybody expects any kind of logic from a story where they couldn't even describe Chemical King's power correctly (it was not "control over the elements") is another issue entirely.
Heck, nobody cared about Lightning Lad and Lightning Lass having the same power.
They did, though! Lightning Lass was going to have to quit before Dream Girl used her super-Naltorian science to change Ayla's superpower from lightning to gravity reduction. Once she was Light Lass, she could stay.
As for Superboy and Supergirl, there was, as I mentioned, a loophole allowing for any number of people with Kryptonian-type powers.
You know, it seems to me that if ERG had just let the giant vacuum cleaner devour a few of the existing Legion members, there would no longer have been any problem of duplicate powers, and then he could have joined them with no problem.
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